The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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