did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
