just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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