She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
