Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
