You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
send nudes
from the living room?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
