textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
