Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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