That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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