this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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