Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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