it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
