Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He shit in the fireplace
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
