i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
