Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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