Someone shit on the floor
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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