Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
