i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
