p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
