i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
No subtext here. People are naked.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
