I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize
