the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i wish my penis had a tongue
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
