I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize