Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
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