we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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