I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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