So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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