You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
