it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
