I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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