Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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