Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
