remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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