he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My bed smells like the plague
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
