3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We have so much sex to catch up on
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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