I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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