you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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