very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize