I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
