ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Go christen that room with your naked body.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
