Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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