mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Found the puke drawer
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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