Just cropdusted the office
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
