New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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