dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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