FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
