not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize