you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
