you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
