guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
