How is your vagina???
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea