I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.