He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in