Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?

  (312): View more from Illinois

  But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.

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  (312): We made it safely. Thanks for the call though. (248): Great. Don't do shady things like that ok? (312): But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all. http://tfl.nu/00eu
  Replies (3) Good night (945) Bad night (1874)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen

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  (630): True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen http://tfl.nu/yx2l
  Replies (18) Good night (879) Bad night (3957) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup

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  (678): So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup http://tfl.nu/agqr
  Replies (88) Good night (4501) Bad night (972) Order T-Shirt
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  (585): View more from New York

  you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"

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  (585): you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son" http://tfl.nu/6lgp
  Replies (3) Good night (4691) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor

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  (732): im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor http://tfl.nu/d5hx
  Replies (18) Good night (4376) Bad night (691) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.

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  (360): My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this. http://tfl.nu/p7t1
  Replies (17) Good night (998) Bad night (4647) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.

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  (281): I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO. http://tfl.nu/9byh
  Replies (28) Good night (4138) Bad night (815) Order T-Shirt
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.

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  (785): U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r. http://tfl.nu/crq7
  Replies (4) Good night (2699) Bad night (993) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?

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  (860): What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang? http://tfl.nu/anu5
  Replies (37) Good night (4949) Bad night (728) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?

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  (650): guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina? http://tfl.nu/cd8y
  Replies (40) Good night (3376) Bad night (1522) Order T-Shirt
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  (559): View more from California

  I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.

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  (559): I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface. http://tfl.nu/l63d
  Replies (6) Good night (1199) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!

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  (720): Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you! http://tfl.nu/nw6m
  Replies (11) Good night (1153) Bad night (447) Order T-Shirt
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  (914): View more from New York

  He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List

  (914): View more from New York

  Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)

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  (914): He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List (914): Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired) http://tfl.nu/bfp9
  Replies (28) Good night (1661) Bad night (739)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.

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  (423): I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings. http://tfl.nu/2rp0
  Replies (3) Good night (1320) Bad night (177) Order T-Shirt
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?

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  (902): I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink? http://tfl.nu/3vlv
  Replies (3) Good night (287) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt

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