Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
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he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
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I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage