So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.