Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.