I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
