you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
