Moan for me like Helen Keller
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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