"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
