this beer tastes like vomit already
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
