just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
