Texts From Last Night

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  (281): View more from Texas

  Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  college has opened so many doors for you

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  (281): Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him (1-281): college has opened so many doors for you http://tfl.nu/e6am
  Replies (44) Good night (4513) Bad night (861)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

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  (443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7
  Replies (27) Good night (2745) Bad night (4921)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.

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  (320): I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me. http://tfl.nu/008l
  Replies (12) Good night (1013) Bad night (4531)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.

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  (703): You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her. http://tfl.nu/ivfo
  Replies (11) Good night (5510) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator

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  (469): you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator http://tfl.nu/bsby
  Replies (21) Good night (7281) Bad night (1615)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.

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  (504): Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine. http://tfl.nu/uqy7
  Replies (13) Good night (2138) Bad night (2642)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?

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  (714): Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex? http://tfl.nu/9pxt
  Replies (11) Good night (5079) Bad night (834)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??

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  (502): What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."?? http://tfl.nu/h07e
  Replies (25) Good night (1460) Bad night (2643)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..

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  (908): It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps.. http://tfl.nu/jf04
  Replies (3) Good night (1584) Bad night (768)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it

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  (309): she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it http://tfl.nu/dnda
  Replies (7) Good night (942) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states

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  (631): its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states http://tfl.nu/czgf
  Replies (22) Good night (651) Bad night (1324)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.

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  (503): You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks. (503): Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks. http://tfl.nu/twir
  Replies (2) Good night (623) Bad night (339)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.

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  (410): Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark. http://tfl.nu/6rlc
  Replies (1) Good night (852) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.

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  (781): MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE. http://tfl.nu/t2xt
  Replies (4) Good night (545) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.

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  (479): I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers. http://tfl.nu/959h
  Replies (7) Good night (443) Bad night (247)

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