I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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