Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(314): View more from Missouri

Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room

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(765): View more from Indiana

Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.

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(512): View more from Texas

Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.

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27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Read it at the TFLN blog
(313): View more from Michigan

My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.

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(720): View more from Colorado

I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.

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(507): View more from Minnesota

The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.

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