FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
