He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
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Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
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He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick