I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
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They have a pepper shaker for pot.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
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Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!