He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
