drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
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tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
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hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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