I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
