you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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