at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Randomize
