Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
