4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Too much gin, very little bucket
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
