Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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