Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
