They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
What a dumb baby whore.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
