She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
