So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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