69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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