i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
