if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
