I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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