Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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