I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
