She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize